1. |
Distill My Little Heart
03:11
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I never was much of a barfly
The quiet life used to suit me just fine
Always content to stay at home and read some sci-fi
And be asleep by ten o'clock at night
Then I met a man who seemed to fill my empty spaces
Despite my hesitations, I confess
I wasted my last ounce of faith on the devil
Now all I can do is drink away my regrets
Oh, distill my little heart
Since you ripped it out, I guess it's yours now
It's no good to me no more
Oh, distill my little heart
Since you ripped it out, I guess it's yours now
It's no good to me no more
My friends all think that I should see a doctor
My family's praying for my soul to mend
What they don't know I found in this whiskey water
Is I'll just go to hell, then we'll still be together in the end
Oh, distill my little heart
Since you ripped it out, I guess it's yours now
It's no good to me no more
Oh, distill my little heart
Since you ripped it out, I guess it's yours now
It's no good to me no more
Oh, distill my little heart
Well, I once was lost but now I'm found
Line 'em up and I'll knock 'em down
Let me drown in round after round
Til they kick me out of this town
Oh, distill my little heart
Since you ripped it out, I guess it's yours now
It's no good to me no more
Oh, distill my little heart
Since you ripped it out, I guess it's yours now
It's no good to me
It's no good to me
It's no good to me no more
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2. |
Hostages
04:26
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I'm cozying up to some old demons tonight
Dressing up heartache in poetry and wine
But I am sick of metaphors
As if some florid words make self-destruction justified
No, my sorrow don't look that pretty this time
I never asked for romance, I tend to find it disingenuous
Worn out lines and candlelight, I think they're meaningless
But I did beg for sincerity
And hoped you might see in me something maybe worth a fight
I guess it was a fool's wish in hindsight
If I am not the one, who am I to hold you here
With all you've gone and done, who are you to hold me here
Like we're hostages
Now maybe someday someone will make your heart come alive
And if that day should come, Lord I pray she treats you kind
And I guess until then
I will just be the friend you turn to in the dark of night
Because to hell with my heart and my pride
If I am not the one, who am I to hold you here
With all you've gone and done, who are you to hold me here
Like we're hostages
I can't keep giving precedence
To some future sentiments that may never manifest
Because by then I will have nothing left
If I am not the one, who am I to hold you here
With all you've gone and done, who are you to hold me here
Like we're hostages
Like we're hostages
I'm cozying up to some old demons tonight
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3. |
Sinai
04:54
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Forty days and forty nights
I have wandered and wandered
Forty days and forty nights
Running dry
Forty days and forty nights
My inheritance squandered
Forty days and forty nights
Under this sky
Forty days, forty nights
Desert sun on my skin
Forty days, forty nights
I have burned
Forty days, forty nights
Climbing this same mountain
Forty days, forty nights
My lesson's learned
Shall we tally our losses? Bury our dead?
Or is there breath in us yet?
I don't know
Baby I don't know
Forty days and forty nights
I strike out at the rock
Forty days and forty nights
Drink it in
Forty days and forty nights
I'm being struck down by God
Forty days and forty nights
Condemned for my sins
Forty days and forty nights
I won't look at your picture
Forty days and forty nights
I refuse
Forty days and forty nights
I'm walking in circles
Forty days and forty nights
It always comes back to you
Shall we tally our losses? Bury our dead?
Or is there breath in us yet?
I don't know
Baby, I don't know
Forty days and forty nights...
Forty days and forty nights...
Baby I don't know
Baby I don't know
But I don't think so
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4. |
Blood & Water
04:24
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Lord knows I've wandered
I have strayed so far from home
My pockets full of naught but lint
My body naught but bones
I took a gamble on freedom
Never thought what it might cost
Now all I had is all that I have lost
All I had is all that I have lost
Like the part of me that mattered
The part of me that bled
Like the part of me that cared enough to live
Like the part of me that cared enough to live
I hate myself sometimes
That I could not be enough
Soaking in my loneliness
Just begging for your love
And I'd have poured my last drop out
Should blood and water find a crack
But it's not like I could have taken you back
No, it's not like you could ever take me back
To the part of me that mattered
The part of me that bled
To the part of me that cared enough to live
To the part of me that cared enough to live
Take me back to cedar forests
To valleys made of stone
To that place that should have been my home
To that place that should have been my home
To the part of me that mattered
The part of me that bled
To the part of me that cared enough to live
To the part of me that cared enough to live
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5. |
Wagons to the West
04:18
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August is opening her arms to me
July is ending in a couple of days
My eyes are pouring over the months and the years
But your eyes never quite seem to do the same
Am I lost in the crowd of your followers
The long line of lovers you never loved
Am I the personification
The paper explanation of what you want
But do not want
Oh, I swore I would not do this
Now, I was a little girl; pigtails, dirty fingernails
I was all knotted shoestrings and swing sets
Then you blew into my view, rough edges but soft words
And I was young, but I knew love when I found it
And I swore I would not do this
Oh I swore I would not go through with this
But I have loved you too long
So won't you explore the continent of my skin
Won't you come and learn the language of my lips
I wish you would pack up your wagons, head to the west
But the sea is so much sweeter I guess
It's much sweeter I guess
It's much sweeter
I guess, I guess, I guess...
And I swore I would not do this
Oh I swore I would not do this
Oh I swore I would not do this
But I have loved you too long
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Jillian Holzbauer Tulsa, Oklahoma
Toeing that delicate balance between sorrow and spite; songs soaked in cheap booze and left to dry on the line.
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